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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22551970">Sometimes we just need an Anchor</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoffeeB1678/pseuds/CoffeeB1678'>CoffeeB1678</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>AngstyAF, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Kakashihasaheart, POV Hatake Kakashi, Slow Burn, mentions of Yamato/TenzoxOC</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 09:49:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,641</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22551970</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoffeeB1678/pseuds/CoffeeB1678</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Being a shinobi defined Kakashi's life, and truly drove it. Grief was a near-constant companion to him and hiding his emotions was second nature to him. So why did he feel so comfortable around the civilian medic? </p><p>Nalia was a doctor of Konoha, trained under one of the best the village has to offer. She should be used to her patients bleeding out after receiving care too late, used to seeing young faces coming into her ER and never leaving. Yet why wasn't she? Why did every death, every failure shroud her in grief for people she never even knew?</p><p>Like a daffodil blooming after the first melt of the season, Kakashi and Nalia learn that they aren't alone in their feelings and find comfort in one another even as their world faces disaster after disaster. </p><p>*This is a one-shot series that explores interpersonal relationships and what love looks like when love hurts too much.*</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hatake Kakashi/Original Female Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Anchor</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kakashi stared at the memorial stone, ignoring the cold drizzle dampening his hair and fogging up his harsh breath. The mistakes of his past seemed to taunt him, tease him, never actually affording him release from his ever-present guilt. His father, Obito, Rin, Minato-sensei, Kushina, and lastly Hiruzen Sarutobi. His shoulders hunched over and shook. Everyone who had ever loved him died. Kakashi forced his mind away from Rin's flat brown eyes staring blankly at him, his name on her dying breath.</p><p>"Kakashi" He whirled around, his heartbeat wildly. For a moment the voice that whispered his name, was Rin's, the brown eyes slightly darker, brown hair shorter and straighter.</p><p>Then he blinked.</p><p>"Oh, hello Nalia." He replied back. Nalia smiled up at him, sadness tugging at the corners of her eyes. She walked slightly off the path, her gigantic, ugly yellow umbrella adding forceful cheer to the somber clearing.</p><p>"You'll catch a cold out here." She admonished gently. She stood next to him and offered her umbrella to him. His mask covered how his lips quirked slightly at her reddened cheeks. "Here, you hold it. I'm too short to try and raise it above your head." She grumbled. Nalia huffed. Her height had always been a sore spot for her. Kakashi took the offered umbrella and held up as she sidled closer to him, her left arm firmly against his right.</p><p>The effect of her touch, even though her thick sleeve of her funeral yukata, was instantaneous. The ice that had been crystallizing his bones, melted, the wave of emotions he had pent up at the Sandaime's funeral threatening to crash through the damn he had built. She leaned further into him, her fingers gently forcing his clenched hand to relax. Kakashi let her hold his hand, slightly ashamed that he felt relieved from her warm hand against his cold, clammy ones.</p><p>"Have you been here since the funeral?" She asked him. Her voice held no judgement, no shock so he felt no need to lie or come up with one of his many excuses.</p><p>"Yeah" He said quietly. Her hand squeezed his comfortingly, the warmth from her hand sliding up his arm and warming his chest as well.</p><p>The Sandaime's funeral was the first funeral for those who had lost their lives in the failed invasion. The cemetery had closed down and the majority of chunin and jonin level ninjas had participated in the funeral procession and final entombment. He remembered seeing Nalia towards the edge, standing behind her brother as his lover held his hand while he mourned. He remembered feeling bothered that hot tears fell down her cheeks despite her face not scrunching up or her nose sniffing while she cried, hinting that maybe she didn't realize she was crying.</p><p>How fucked would that be?</p><p>"How many did you go to?" He asked her and immediately wished he hadn't. Nalia worked at the hospital, as a student of one of the best medics in the village, she would have encountered death a great deal in her training.</p><p>"Too many." She whispered. If it wasn't for his enhanced hearing, he might not have heard it over the pitter patter of the rain. "It's fitting isn't it? For rain on such a horribly sad day. Its almost as if the gods are mourning with us." She mused, almost a bit too cheerfully. He noticed when she didn't ask him how many funerals he went to today either. He guessed cause she already knew the answer.</p><p>Too. Many.</p><p>So they stood there together in the rain, even as lightening danced in the clouds like unruly children, Nalia stayed next to him, her warmth sliding through his body from where she held his hand, heating up and melting the ice in his chest.</p><p>It was the crack of thunder finally splitting the dark clouds above them that snapped him out of his trance. He turned to look down at his spooked companion, her hair standing on end like she was electrocuted.</p><p>"Come on! If we stay out here, we'll be fried!" Nalia exclaimed. She tugged him behind her, not caring that the umbrella no longer protected her. Kakashi followed obediently, looking one last time at the memorial stone, before following his friend down the path and onto the main street. He tugged her in the direction of her apartment she shared with Tenzo and shook her head. He frowned.</p><p><em>I guess we'll go back to my place and wait out the storm. </em>He thought. He tugged her close and ignored how adrenaline spiked in his veins with her so close to him. He closed his eyes and shunshined them onto the walkway in front of his apartment. Nalia yelped and to her credit, didn't throw up this time from the sudden movement.</p><p>"Warn me when you do that!" She exclaimed. He laid her umbrella by the door while he stooped to undo his sandals. Nalia sighed contently when she kicked off her uncomfortable geta sandals. He winced at the squishy noises her yukata made every time she moved. She frowned too and looked up at him.</p><p>"I might have something that'll fit you. Why don't you hop in the shower and I'll grab it?" He suggested. She smiled brilliantly up at him and pushed past him.</p><p>"Thank you, Bakashi!" She sang. She traipsed her way through his apartment to his bathroom, seemingly completely comfortable in another man's space. He rolled his eyes but did as he promised. He dug through his bedroom closet, looking for clothes that wouldn't immediately drop off Nalia's petite form. He settled on an old training shirt of his from when he was a teenager, and a pair of Sakura's shorts that must've gotten mixed up in his stuff for the fourth time. He knocked on the bathroom door, wincing when he realized that Nalia didn't lock it. He threw the extra clothes into the bathroom and shut the door quickly, thankful of the mask he wore that covered his burning face.</p><p>Nalia came out of the bathroom about 15 minutes later, a towel wrapped around her hair and his shirt tucked into the waistband of Sakura's athletic shorts.</p><p>"Thank you" She murmured. They took their tea in the living room, Nalia tucking her legs under her on the couch while Kakashi sat at the other end and pulled out his well worn Icha Icha, trying to focus his eyes on the pages before him.</p><p>Nalia sipped her tea and watched as the storm progressively worsened outside, the wind picking up and slapping tree branches against Kakashi's window. She glanced over at him, the normal annoyance she felt at his presence replaced by a twinge of guilt. He stood at the memorial stone for hours, his mind wandering to the dangerous territory between despair and regret. She's never seen him like this before, his lazy and casual personality never wavering in front of her, no matter how insane it drove her. He was Kakashi Hatake, the chronically late shinobi. The (not so) closet pervert. The man who was a borne prodigy. </p><p>But also suffered the curse that most prodigies faced. </p><p>"Why don't you want to go home?" Kakashi asked. Nalia snapped out of her musings, turning to face him. His eyes never strayed from his book, but his tone made it obvious he was talking to her.</p><p>"Taka is with Tenzo and I wanted to give them some privacy." She replied easily, taking a sip of her green tea. Kakashi nodded, seemingly absorbed in his book.</p><p>"Ah"</p><p>"I want them to have some privacy, you know. The last week has been hard on everyone and I'm glad that they're spending more time together, you know? They're good together" Kakashi paused in his fake reading and smiled softly. Despite all the pain, the loneliness that Tenzo suffered throughout his life, he was finally seizing a bit of that happiness himself.</p><p>"Good for him. I'm glad he found someone" He murmured softly. A loud crash of lightning jolted Nalia spilling the hot tea all over her hands.</p><p>"Son of a bitch!" She yelled. In a flash, Kakashi got up and pulled her over to his kitchen sink, running her hands under the cool water. His heart hammered in his chest. <em>Not another one, not again, I can't lose someone again not again I can't..... </em>His incoherent thoughts rambling on. Nalia's protests faded out as his vision zeroed on that bright patch of red forming on the back of her left hand. The sound of rain melted and muted against the sound of crashing in his head. </p><p>"Kakashi, I'm alright" She told him softly. She placed her uninjured palm against his trembling forearm. "See? I'll be fine" He watched and felt like an idiot when her fingertips glowed a bright green, soothing the burn until the burn mark faded into the smooth brown of the rest of her skin. He took a calming breath and backed away slowly.</p><p>"Ah, sorry."</p><p>Instead of a snarky reply, Nalia frowned and reached towards him, her chakra already sliding over him, warming him yet again. The towel on her head was lost somewhere in his scramble to save her, leaving her wet, curly hair to form a cloud around her head. "What's going on?" She asked finally. One hand rested on his cheek encouraging him to meet her eyes while the other rested on his shoulder. It was so easy for him in this supremely intimate position to pretend that everything was okay.</p><p>But it wasn't okay.</p><p>He held his hand over hers on his cheek, savoring the warmth seeping into him at their point of contact. Nalia, always perceptive Nalia, reached up with her other arm and pulled him into a tight hug. He tucked her head under his cheek, inhaling the faint scent of coconut and while he held onto her like his life depended on it. He mused that in a way it did.</p><p>Nalia was always his anchor. She was the safe harbor that protected him from the dangerous sea of emotion that threatened to overtake him every so often. She was always there, somehow knowing when to push him and when to just let him sag into her arms letting him forget about his failures as a student, a teacher and as a shinobi.</p><p>"It's not your fault" She whispered to him. Nalia rubbed his back in soothing circles. Even though the Sandaime had just died, Kakashi's behavior wasn't because of him.</p><p>It was because, in his mind, he failed again. Every one of his failures resulted in death.</p><p>Father, Obito, Rin, Minato, Kushina.</p><p>"It wasn't your fault, Kakashi" Nalia said a bit more sternly. She pulled back to look up at his face and he squeezed his eyes shut. <em>Dear Gods I wish that were true, I wish it wasn't my fault. </em>He kept his mouth shut, knowing that Nalia would get that saddened look on her face, as if he ate her last slice of pie, correcting her.</p><p>"It wasn't" She insisted. Kakashi blinked and chuckled sarcastically. <em>Of Course</em>, Nalia saw right through his bullshit. Of course she knew what he was thinking. "They died to make sure you were <em>safe</em>, Kakashi. They died to protect their comrades, their friends. <em>YOU. </em>How do you think they would feel if they were here right now?" Nalia asked sharply. He winced. He knew that Obito would make fun of him for being so moody. He knew Rin and Sensei would get that heartbroken look on their face like he kicked their puppy. He shuddered thinking about what Kushina would say.</p><p>"You're right." He conceded. If there was one thing he was eternally grateful towards Nalia for, it was forcing him to give his loved ones the benefit of the doubt. "Thanks" Nalia smiled radiantly up at him and for a moment he wished he told that to her sooner.</p><p><em>Ooooo looks like someone has a crush.</em> A voice suspiciously like Obito whispered in his ear. He ignored the voice and tightened his grip when she tried to let go. "Can we at least stay a little longer like this?" He whispered. He was surprised to hear Nalia's breath catch and even more surprised to feel her nod. She hooked her arms around his waist and rocked him gently back and forth, humming a tune he didn't recognize.</p><p>He loathed to leave the safety and security of her small form, but he let her go and opted to hold her hand instead, leading her to his living room. Nalia sat down on one end. Kakashi smirked and made a show of laying his head on her lap, squirming until he was in a comfortable position like a newborn pup. He felt Nalia's exasperation and grinned when he felt her flick the tip of his ears. She raked through his still slightly damp hair, drawing a satisfied hum out of him. He should feel unnerved by how easily she traipsed through his walls like they weren't there. He shouldn't like the feeling of vulnerability she teased out of him with her radiant smile and easy presence.</p><p>But he did.</p><p>He closed his eyes and hummed at the feeling of Nalia's fingers tangling, brushing, and making his disheveled hair even more crazy. He didn't care. He felt like he was on cloud nine and when she scratched the spot right behind his ear he thought he had ascended to nirvana.</p><p>He wasn't sure when he dozed off but when Kakashi awoke, it was to the setting sun streaming through the living room window and a comforting weight on his chest. He woke up to Nalia dozing on his chest, his left hand tangled in her wildly curly hair. His right hand rested on her side. Despite the raging storm outside, he felt like he was anchored in the safety of a harbor. </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. We have that in common</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW: Mentions of child death, alcoholism</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kakashi frowned. Nalia smiled brightly while she recounted the letter Kaede-sensei sent her from her honeymoon on Crescent Moon. She gestured wildly and took healthy gulps of sake. She looked so happy, so excited about her former teacher finding happiness and love after a lifetime of loneliness. </p>
<p>But it was all bullshit. </p>
<p>Her eyes kept darting around, never focusing on a single point. Her brown eyes were shining with unshed tears. </p>
<p>But what tipped him off the most was her smile. Her usually radiant smile was plastered into place, never defaulting never inching out of place as if she was consciously thinking about it.</p>
<p>“Nalia,” He said softly, “what’s really going on?” He asked her. His voice left no room for argument. </p>
<p>Nalia swallowed painfully and looked down, red staining her cheeks. She took another healthy gulp of the sake she brought to his apartment and slammed the drink on the table. </p>
<p>“I lost another patient” She whispered finally. Nalia closed her eyes, the grief too painful for her eyes. She should’ve been used to losing patients, and on some level she was. Kakashi reached across the table, clasping her hand in his. She opened her eyes again tears leaking out of the corners in an unnerving way as if she didn’t know it was happening. </p>
<p>“You can’t save everyone, Nalia,” He said quietly. He squeezed her hand tightly and she looked up at him, grief etched into her face. </p>
<p>“He was only 13, a <em> genin</em>! What kind of doctor would I be if I didn’t try?” She said bitterly. She wiped at her eyes aggressively. “If I can’t try and save every single person that makes it into my ER with everything I have, what kind of doctor am I? What kind of woman am I?” Nalia was hurting real bad. She became so invested in every patient and every outcome that when she couldn’t save someone the grief that she would shove down into her soul would eat at her until it reared its ugly head in the form of her binge drinking or working double or even triple shifts until she passed out. It took him too long to live with the fact that he couldn't save everyone. </p>
<p>They had that unfortunately in common. </p>
<p>Nalia needed to be grounded, rooted, anchored. Kakashi skirted around his small table and led Nalia to his couch, hoping that he could anchor her in the way that she’s anchored him so many times over the last few years. </p>
<p>Be her safe harbor. </p>
<p>Hesitantly, Kakashi pulled her towards his well-worn couch, wrapping her in his faded blue throw. She clutched onto the fabric and curled up into a tiny ball next to him. He froze when she wiggled her head onto his lap, trembling from the force of the grief on her body. Tears still leaked out of her eyes, but at least she admitted to herself and to him that there was more going on. With unsure hands, he ran his fingers through her dense hair, playing with her soft curls in a way he knew she found soothing. </p>
<p>“Thank you, Kakashi” Nalia finally rasped. Her voice cracked, the sadness still making a home in her vocal cords. She took a deep breath and she stopped trembling, “Thanks for being there when I need you” </p>
<p><em> Need me? </em>Kakashi, of course, has many friends and colleagues that he socializes with but no one has really needed him. Even Tenzo his lovable kouhai has a partner now and is relatively well adjusted compared to him. </p>
<p>But to think Kakashi Hatake, the Copy-cat nin was there for someone without having to use his kunai to solve the issue is a feat in itself. </p>
<p>“Ma, don’t worry about it." </p>
<p>
  <em> You've done the same for me </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>AN: Here's another installment of Nalia and Kakashi's burgeoning relationship! I'm excited to share this new chapter as it gives some insight into what type of person Nalia is. I don't know where these one-shots will go but I adore their relationship and the emotional vulnerability these two seem to bring out in each other. Please leave a comment if this is something you would like to continue reading! I also would love to hear what everyone thinks and if you all have ideas for their future!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. I'll try</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Nalia’s clipboard slipped from her hand when she spotted the familiar white haired jounin coming through her ward on a gurney. His face was deathly pale and had a slight sheen to it. Her heart hammered in her chest, all noise fading out until she could only hear her own heart beat thud wildly in her chest. <em>Why was he in the ER? How bad is he off? Why is he so pale? </em></span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Doctor!” Nalia snapped out of it and turned to face her senpai before her. “He was hit by a poisoned kunai. Everyone else is busy right now so I need you to get that starry look out of your eyes and go save your boyfriend, okay?” The gruff older man ordered. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, Yuuhi-senpai” Nalia picked up her clipboard and took a deep breath. “And he’s not my boyfriend!” She cried out. She chased after the gurney to go save her idiot non-boyfriend. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It took a few hours but the labs in the hospital were able to deconstruct the poison, a form of neuro-toxin, and create an antidote that could be administered. However, during this process, Nalia stuck next to Kakashi’s side, cycling her chakra through his system because of </span>
  <em>
    <span>course </span>
  </em>
  <span>he was exhausted as well ,making his body unable to try and metabolize the poison on its own. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah you’re awake, dumbass” Nalia chirped. She let go of his arm and adjusted the IV bag next to him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What happened?” Kakashi murmured. Nalia wrinkled her nose. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You almost died in an ambush, Kakashi,” She said slowly. She placed her fingertips on his temple to check for a concussion. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nothing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ha, again? I thought for sure that shark was going to get me” Nalia recoiled from him and glared. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You do not get to joke that way, Kakashi Hatake” She said, dangerous emotion wavering her voice. “You were so chakra exhausted, you would’ve died before the antidote could’ve been administered to you if I hadn’t pretty much plugged myself into you to keep you alive!” Hot, angry tears fell down her cheeks and Kakashi swallowed painfully. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Since when did she care so much? </span>
  </em>
  <span>He thought.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you have any idea what it’s like to be doing everything you can to save someone and there being a small possibility that they can’t be saved?” She shouted. She was trembling completely. She was absolutely furious at him and he had no idea why. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nalia, I-” He tried to sit up but Nalia shook her head. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why do you hate yourself so much you are willing to break my heart?” She said softly. She looked down at him once more. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Instead of anger, there was pain, hurt, and guilt written into her face. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I-I gotta go. One of the nurses should be in later to check on you” Nalia muttered. She scurried out of the hospital, leaving a bewildered and slightly guilty Kakashi in her wake. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>::</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kakashi slid open the window of his hospital room, for once appreciating the lax security. He gripped the side of the window, letting the cool air clear the morphine-induced fogginess. The antidote had done its job for the most part and he no longer felt like his head was underwater. He breathed in the cool air, sorting through the different scents on the wind until he found the distinct mix of antiseptic and coconut he was looking for. He adjusted his mask then vaulted out of the window, intent on finding a certain petite brunette. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nalia, what are you doing?” Nalia jumped and swore, her bottle of sake swishing and spilling all over her white coat. He gazed at her, slouching even further to try and look like he didn’t escape and track her scent to the top of Hokage mountain just to see her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He wasn’t that desperate, was he?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You shouldn’t be out of bed.” She said sharply. She stood up on wobbly legs and he wrinkled his nose at the heavy alcohol on her breath. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You shouldn’t be on your second bottle of sake” He quipped easily. He joined her on the edge of sensei’s head sitting down and leaning back on his hands so he could enjoy the view of sleepy konoha. He patted the ground next to him and she rolled her eyes before sitting down. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Your brother knows your drinking again?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Screw you, Bakashi” She replied. He shrugged and she took the last swig of her sake and didn’t even flinch at the burn of the alcohol. Someday Kakashi was going to figure out how such a small woman had an alcohol tolerance comparable to that of Tsunade. “What do you want?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry. Seriously.” Nalia raised an eyebrow and waited patiently. Kakashi tilted his head and looked down at her angry, yet adorable face. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Not adorable, that woman can literally rearrange your insides. </span>
  </em>
  <span>A voice way too much like Kushina warned him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He swallowed and blushed, thankful for the dark night hiding his blushing face. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I shouldn’t have joked about dying on you. It was callous and I wasn’t thinking about your feelings. Especially after you opened up to me.” He murmured. Nalia’s mouth popped open but no words came out. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That-that’s-” She stuttered. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before continuing. “Thank you and I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have said that you hated yourself. That was completely out of line. I just wanted to hurt you because I was hurt. I don’t like seeing you come into my hospital on a gurney, Kakashi” She replied. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You weren’t wrong though. I guess on some level I do hate myself. The people I care about have a nasty habit of dying” Kakashi murmured. “I don’t want to get to know you and then you-you leave” Why was he telling her all of this, why did he feel so vulnerable around this woman?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Why did he like it?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah” She squeaked out. Nalia cleared her throat and avoided the intense eye contact. She stared out at the twinkling lights at the village below. "You must've been so lonely" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He paused. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"So have you." Nalia laughed harshly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Yeah but for whatever reason, I don't feel so lonely when I'm with you." She smiled softly and glanced up at him. </span>
  <span>“I overreacted, Kakashi. I’m sorry. I’m a doctor and you would think that I would be used to death or experiencing death, but-but you’re my friend. I don’t want to see you come into my ER like that again” Nalia mumbled out. She looked up at him with all too sparkling eyes that darkened under the moonlight, “Promise me you’ll at least try to come home in one piece? I don’t think I can take it if you actually-If I actually had to-”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kakashi felt like someone punched him in the gut. She...was worried about him, wanted to see him again and </span>
  <em>
    <span>cared </span>
  </em>
  <span>if he came home in one piece. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was nice. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll try” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The life of the shinobi was to live a life that no longer belonged to yourself and he had spent his entire life giving everything he had for the sake of the village. He never thought that someone else might </span>
  <em>
    <span>expect </span>
  </em>
  <span>him to do better. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Be better. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m glad we got that cleared up, Bakashi. It’s time I escort you back to the hospital” Nalia said brightly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kakashi’s mood soured but he obliged the medic. It was at least a good excuse to prolong being together for at least another hour. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course, doctor. But promise me one thing.” He leaned down and smiled, “Even if I come into your ER on a gurney, you have to promise me you’ll be okay.” She smiled sadly for a moment and turned away. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'll try" </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. three little words</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Nalia and Kakashi find themselves back in the beginning of what started it all.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Lightning flashed outside of Kakashi’s haphazard window. Rain poured over the still healing village, washing away the blood and dust that collected over the last month of rebuilding efforts. Pain’s assault on Konoha had left a nasty wound on their village, and after the weeks of funerals for those who couldn’t be saved, Kakashi and Nalia found themselves in each other’s company again. Their typical mug of green tea in chipped and mismatched mugs, and the pitter-patter of rain filling the comfortable silence between them. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The funerals had taken a toll on them. The last time they had gone to so many in a day was after the ill-fated Chunin exams years ago. Back when he still had genin to be a sensei too. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kakashi peeked up from his Icha Icha, unused to Nalia being silent for so long. She was staring into her mug of tea, a frown on her face. She looked deep in thought as if she was debating whether to say what was on her mind. Kakashi knew Nalia well enough at this point to wait until she was ready to say what was on her mind. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you!” Nalia blurted out, her face slowly turning pink. Kakashi froze, his fingertips pausing in turning the page of his precious Icha Icha. He dared not look up from his book, dared not to meet Nalia’s earnest brown eyes, her heart on her sleeve. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I understand if you don’t feel the same way but I needed to say that, Kakashi.” She whispered. She gripped the cracked, </span>
  <em>
    <span>I love Konoha </span>
  </em>
  <span>mug tightly as if she could squeeze a bit of strength from the poor ceramic. Lightning flashed outside of his temporary house, and for a moment exposing every rough edge and dark knots in the small wooden house Tenzo had graciously built for him. He wished he could break his cowardice and look up into brown eyes he knew were glistening with tears. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know when I fell in love with you,but recent events have put a lot of things into perspective for me” She laughed humorlessly. Kakashi gripped his book a little tighter. Pain’s destruction of Konoha had haunted both shinobi and civilians alike, no matter how relieved the Hokage and the small council was at the ultimately low human cost in relation to the magnitude of destruction. Nalia had never talked about her experiences, despite the deep circles under her eyes and her clothes fitting a little too loosely on her petite frame, choosing to laugh off her misery. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What happened?” Kakashi asked finally. He winced at the awkward question. Here she was, confessing her love to </span>
  <em>
    <span>him, </span>
  </em>
  <span>and he chose to ask her what happened? Gods, he did not earn the prodigy title he has. He steeled himself and put down his book, meeting Nalia’s teary eyes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I watched as the whole village was destroyed by a single </span>
  <em>
    <span>man</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I tried my hardest, healed the people I could, and comforted the people I couldn’t, and Kakashi there were </span>
  <em>
    <span>so many bodies.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” She shuddered at the traumatic memory, “and when Naruto-kun showed up and defeated him and suddenly most of the people that died were alive again I felt like that was the universe giving me a do-over. I watched hundreds of people die suddenly, without ever being able to tell their loved ones how much they care about them or die knowing that the last thing they said to their families were hateful and Kakashi I don’t want to die like that. I don’t want to die knowing that I didn’t tell you how much I truly loved the people in my life. Tenzo, Kaede, Taka,” She listed off her brother, her sensei, and her best friend. She took a deep breath and shrunk into herself, her smile a little too wobbly. “and you. I don’t expect you to answer me or even to return the feeling but that was something I needed to say. So, yeah.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kakashi’s breath caught in his throat. No one had ever said they loved him so explicitly before. In his youth, he had gotten the occasional love letter from subordinates, but this is different. This was </span>
  <em>
    <span>Nalia. </span>
  </em>
  <span>The woman that saved him when he didn’t realize he was drowning. The woman who had the uncanny ability to sense exactly what he was thinking and feeling. The only person who cared for him without expecting anything from him, even as she confessed to him, she didn’t expect anything from him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I never said I don’t feel the same way,” Kakashi murmured. His heart hammered in his chest as he reached over to clasp her hands. Her eyes widened and a few pesky tears slid down her face. He brushed the tears with the pad of his thumb, his hands trembling just a little from the contact. “You are my anchor, Nalia. You’ve kept me grounded and sane for the last few years and for that I am eternally grateful to you.” His mouth dried as he tried to find the right words to express himself.  “I know when I fell in love with you,” Kakashi teased lightly. Nalia smiled and turned into his palm, holding his hand to her cheek. “Remember when you tried to make me miso and eggplant?” He asked. Nalia scrunched her face then burst out laughing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Didn’t I burn the eggplant? And we ended up getting takeout anyway” She replied, chuckling at the fond memory. “God that was embarrassing, how was that the night you fell in love with me?” Kakashi shook his head. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you remember why you made me dinner in the first place?” She shook her head and Kakashi’s mouth twitched into a smile. “It was after Naruto left with Jiraiya on his training journey. Sakura had been apprenticing with Tsunade-sama for a few months at that point and you know what happened to Sasuke. I was at a low point but you came in with your bottles of sake and attempted to make me ‘the best dinner I ever had’.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“-But we ended up getting drunk and watching an old Icha Icha movie while eating chicken wings.” Nalia finished, smiling at the fond memory. “I remember” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nalia, you have the biggest heart I’ve ever seen. You care so much and you feel so much. Even when you are in pain, instead of numbing yourself to it, you </span>
  <em>
    <span>feel it,</span>
  </em>
  <span> and don’t let your pain destroy you. Ma, you even love harder. And how could I not love a woman who’s as kind-hearted and precious as you?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>To Kakashi’s dismay, tears streamed down Nalia’s face. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Did I say something to offend you? Nalia I-” She cut him off with a gentle kiss to the palm of his hand, tears flowing even harder. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I never thought I would hear those words from you, Kakashi” She choked out. Kakashi pulled Nalia out of her chair and into his arms, the gesture infinitely easier now than it was even before he met her. Before Nalia, he would never willingly invite someone into his own space, could never touch a person so intimately. He copied a gesture he’d seen Tenzo do with her a million times, and smoothed down her curly hair and kissed the top of her head. Despite his heart beating like he ran a mile he gently smoothed down Nalia’s unruly hair and kissed the top of her head, her tears and snot soaking his navy blue shirt. He breathed her scent deeply into him, taking in that surprisingly heady surface scent of coconut and antiseptic. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you, Nalia-chan.” He repeated, more clearly and with conviction this time. The words felt right in his mouth. She felt right in his arms. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you too, Kakashi.” She responded, smiling brilliantly. When she said those magical words, Kakashi felt them. He knew she loved him, not because of his prowess or status as a shinobi, but as a man and that is all that he could ask for. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Love not, because you find someone attractive or think them kind or courageous. Even more so, love not because of who you think they are. Love their flaws, their scars, their imperfections as much and as loudly as you love and cherish their brightness, their beauty, and their heart. Only then will your love be as deep and boundless as the calm sea. </span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This is the last chapter of my little one-shot series featuring my OC Nalia and Kakashi Hatake. I hope those who read my work, enjoyed it as much as I did writing it.</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>AN: Hi all! This is my first work on this website and this story is something that I came up with late at night while working on another piece! Please let me know if this is any good and leave some kudos!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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